On any given afternoon, when I look in my backyard, I’ll see multiple kids who aren’t mine. In addition to my own two children, plenty of neighborhood kids come by to play. If my kids are inside, they may knock on the door to see if they can play. In fact, this happens so often that we put a doorbell at our back door.
It’s a nice setup. My kids get play dates without us having to schedule or drive anyone, and more often than not, everyone plays by the rules. That’s the main point, of course. If you don’t, you go home. (And no one, especially the kids, wants that.) Adults often stop by to chat, too, which is also nice for me; our backyard has become something of a neighborhood hangout.
There are rules, and all the kids have to follow them
It’s simple enough: everyone needs to be having fun. If someone asks you to stop what you’re doing, you stop. There’s no disrespect allowed, and it’s understood that kids listen to the parents of the house.
Other parents on my block also let kids come by to play, and each household (and yard) may have slightly different rules. For instance, we have digging areas. (We have kid-sized shovels, and there are holes all over designated areas where the kids are allowed to dig. They are not, however, allowed to dig where the internet wire is buried.) They stay in our backyard, the fence gates stay closed at all times (lest a chicken escape), and they know to keep indoor toys inside and outdoor toys outside.
The neighbors don’t have shovels and don’t have to deal with holes, either. That’s their prerogative. They do, however, have a regular sprinkler going on hot days, which means the kids usually come home muddy when they’ve been in that yard. As long as it’s fun and allowed at that household, my spouse and I are good with it, too.
If my kids are disrespectful, they go inside. However, I don’t make neighbor kids leave when this happens; they may be upset about the flow of play being interrupted, but otherwise, they are free to continue their games.
Parents regularly text each other for check-ins, and I’m lucky enough to have a giant window that allows me to see multiple backyards.
It’s a great setup for all kids of all ages
In total, there are nine kids on the block, and some are too young to play unsupervised just yet. But the younger kids tag along with their parents, and everyone gets included at one point of another, and it also means they can intermingle with different ages. My 7-year-old plays with our direct neighbor, who is 2. My 5-year-old is besties with a 1-year-old who lives down the street, and so on. They have plenty of fun with kids their own age, but find such joy in playing with littles, too.
It’s also a great time for us parents, who socialize in the yards. Because everything is unplanned, there’s no pressure to be there on time or even to be presentable. More often than not, I’m in muddy garden clothes or a ratty T-shirt. It’s chill family fun for all ages. Our retired widower also comes out to chat when the weather is nice; we always love to have him as part of the group.
It’s so nice to be friends with all our neighbors, and with busy schedules, it’s an easy way to catch up with those around us. Often, our unplanned, spur-of-the-moment social events are some of the best nights of all.
Living near our friends allows us parents to plan together, carpool, and more. For instance, we signed our kids up for the same VBS and swimming lesson sessions so we could help each other with rides. We also knew a friendly face would be there for our kids. In the meantime, we are making lifelong friends, planning for future fun together, and living our best lives.
